Corona Diaries: Week 6

Week 6 

Remember when kids went to school? 

Man, that was awesome.

Learning stuff. Seeing friends. Being gone until 3 pm each day. 

I’m learning things during this quarantine. Like how 13 year old boys apparently don’t need sunshine to survive. 

Oh yes, I’m learning all kinds of things about teenagers and I’m taking notes.

Things I’ve Learned About Having a Teenager During Corona:

I am only allowed a certain number of questions each day. It’s important to pick questions carefully because while each one will certainly cause an eye-roll, at times I do actually need an answer. So instead of saying, How did you sleep?-I say, Good Morning. A grunt is all I need for affirmation and by that I mean a grunt is all I’ll get for affirmation so I’ve learned to accept it. I don’t ask- are you hungry? Because again, limited words per day and can’t waste time asking the obvious. Instead it is: how many grilled cheeses/hot dogs/quesadillas would you like for lunch thus saving myself from wasted questions and also the opportunity for Son to remind me that I’m stupid for asking the obvious. 

It’s important to note that asking follow up questions is crossing into dangerous territory. For example:

Mom, I’m going on bike ride.

Okay, Son. Where are you going?

I don’t know. Just around.

Do you think you’ll head down Artesia-

Mom! Just around!

Okay. Don’t forget your helmet. 

While “just around” is not normally an acceptable answer with regards to teenage whereabouts, Corona basically guarantees that his direction is aimless  and harmless and also obviously I’ll be tracking him on my phone so really the follow up questions are just wasted breath and wasted chance for more viable, necessary questions that may come up later in the day like- Can you please stop torturing your sister? Choose wisely. 

Teenagers like doors closed. Parents like doors open. Parents are the boss but teenagers are moody so I close the door as requested, then push it gently open so I can quietly spy on him while he does math that I’m certain I could never do even if you pointed a gun at my head. Have I told you guys that I hate the math? I hate the math. I know closed doors can be a divisive topic in many households, but we have a cozy little house and there is no where to hide and I know this because I’ve searched. For now, I concede to him the almost closed door because I still barge in multiple times a day as his room holds the closet that holds the things that clean the house. I just have to accept the bonus eye rolls that come with getting the broom because along with getting the broom is the reminder that I am always watching. 

Teenagers would like to just be left alone, please. This is a tough one for me as I am desperate for his love and affection that was once so abundant I would find myself peeling him off my body. The departure of such displays of affection have me mourning those sweaty, doughy hugs that I clearly took for granted. I know, I know….it’s only natural. And while I want to prove my excellence at being cool and stuff, I really do feel for these kids during this quarantine. These poor budding teenagers. I mean, they’ve finally reached the age where their independence is blooming and their identities are forming and their friend groups are growing and now they’re basically just stuck at home with their parents all day? Even us parents have to admit that’s rough. I’m even willing to go on record that I probably deserve like…half of the eye rolls I receive each day.  I’m trying so hard to respect his need for space and give him whatever sort of independence he can find during this very unique chapter in our lives, but I mean, also…like, you need some vitamin D, kid. Your eyes need to feel the fresh air. Your legs need to run. And you still have to clean the bathroom. So I am still your annoying mother who loves you and would really like to shoot hoops with you one day if you want but it’s cool if you don’t but I’m available if you want to play cards or something but I get it if you don’t and that’s fine just go back to your room and close the door and I’ll open it gently and I’ll see you at dinner. 

It’s hard out there for a teen. Who knows how this is going to affect these kids. Who knows what consequences or gifts this quarantine will provide in the weeks, months, even years to come. But to all the kids, the budding teenagers, the young adults-we feel you. You’re doing awesome. And as much as we can’t wait to drop your asses off to school, we know you are equally ready to get back to your own lives. But for now, we try to enjoy the time together (so much time) and the meals together (so much cooking) because I promise you, that will always count for something. 

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go get the chicken out of the fridge.