It’s no secret that once you become a parent, the social life you enjoyed Pre-Offspring is Long Gone. It’s not that you never go out, it’s just that you have moderation in mind when doing so. Because when a two year old with poop in her diaper is your wake up call at 5:23 in the morning, you tend to behave...differently than you would if your wake up call is, well, nothing at all.
No, no, no...while many Saturday nights out are spent simply with friends and an extra glass or two of wine and home in bed by 11, some Saturday nights still need to be spent with your balls to the wall. Some Saturday nights you need to remind yourself that YOU STILL GOT IT.
Husband recently blew off moderation when we hit up Offspring’s Preschool Fundraising Party. Yeah. I said preschool in that sentence. And party. And while I was dancing in uncomfortable but oh so cute shoes, I looked around and thought to myself, damn. These parents know how to PAR-TAY. And so, I present:
Ain’t no party like a preschool party and here’s why:
1: There is a theme which may require costumes and all the women get to dress slutty. I mean, sexy. We’re over 30 now.
2: You can talk about your kids and not feel that you are like, totally boring. These people understand you, man.
3: It starts at a reasonable hour so the babysitter gets to put your kids to bed. HOLLA!
4: There is booze and fried things.
5: Put a bunch of parents of small children in a room with a stocked bar and an 80’s cover band and see what happens. It’s awesome.
6: Possible hangover the next day does not need to be reminder of bad choices made the night before-only as reminder that you helped improve your child’s education. Vodka/Soda=new book in classroom.
7: Don’t worry; you’re not the only parent at pick up the next day keeping a low profile because you weren’t the only parent dancing on tables.
So, maybe we’re not as skinny as we once were; perhaps we talk about poop a little too frequently and some of us don’t have as much hair as we wished...but, damn it, we STILL GOT IT. There is still fun to be had after kids... and it might just be the time of your life. Let’s face it, it could be months before you think again that last call at 2 A.M. is like, SO LAME, so take advantage. Also, how often do you get to eat pizza at 2:30 in the morning and not feel bad about it? (If the babysitter knows what’s good for her...there will be pizza leftover.)
Predictably, you will have a T-Ball game to attend the next day at an unusually early time for sporting, but such is life. At least you had your balls to the wall the night before.