*Son’s ‘I must eat 5 grapes before I go to bed or I will make your life a living hell’ Phase
*’Every single light in the house must be on all night’ Phase
*Daughters ‘5AM is when I want to start my day, okay?' Phase
*Daughters inability to cover her own head with her own sheet and the need for IMMEDIATE assistance
*Crippling leg pain. Or thumb pain. Or left big toe pain. Or elbow pain. Band aid needed IMMEDIATELY. Yes. Band aids apparently cure crippling leg pain at 3AM.
*Inexplicable concept that ice melts. Ice cubes needed in cup IMMEDIATELY.
That loud breathing sound that turns into that loud snoring sound.
That sound that makes you seethe with anger.
That sound that makes you shove your Spouse perhaps a liiitttlllee to rough to get him to roll over.
That sound that makes you want to sit up and shout-OKAY! I GET it! You’re SLEEPING. And I’m NOT. You are SO GOOD at sleeping! ANY CHANCE YOU COULD DO IT SILENTLY?
Now those ladies have real problems.