Goodbye My Love

It’s hard for me to say this.  It’s painful, actually.  But yesterday, as Daughter came out of her room for the third time, sucking on a lollipop and shrugging off the enormous disaster she created INSTEAD of sleeping, I realized that precious, wonderful, amazing nap-time may be Coming.To.An.End.  

In honor of nap-time and all that it has given to me, I have written a song.  It is to the tune of Candle in the Wind.  I’m pretty sure my lyrics rival those of the great Elton John.  (It’s more fun to turn on the song and sing along with the new words.  Trust.)  

May I present: Goodbye Nap-time by Gelato Mama

Goodbye, nap-time.  You know, I really enjoyed you so much.  

You had the grace to keep me sane

To make it through the day.

You really were fantastic 

Sometimes better than sex

I think if you were a man

I’d make out with you every day

And it seems to me, I lived my life from 1-4 pm

Always knowing I could pee in peace 

Cuz no one would barge in

And I would really like to keep you

Around for my whole life

But your candle burned out yesterday

And now I’m kind of fucked

Goodbye, nap-time.  I think I loved you more than you’ll ever know

Now my kids think they don’t need to sleep

And turn into assholes.

Now that you are gone,

I wish I could talk to you

And let you know how I loved you

You never made me blue

And it seems to me, I lived my life from 1-4 pm

Always knowing I could pee in peace 

Cuz no one would barge in

And I would really like to keep you

Around for my whole life

But your candle burned out yesterday

And now I’m kind of fucked

Goodbye nap-time.  But seriously, where did you go?

After everything we’ve been through

I thought you loved me back

Goodbye nap-time. How could you do this to me?

Now I have to play Yahtzee endlessly

And stab out my eyeballs

And it seems to me, I lived my life from 1-4 pm

Always knowing I could pee in peace 

Cuz no one would barge in

And I would really like to keep you

Around for my whole life

But your candle burned out yesterday

And now I’m kind of fucked

But your candle burned out yesterday

And now I’m kind of fucked