What did those kids do to that nice lady?

Friday, August 26, 2011

Guilt Trip

One of my soon-to-be-a-Mom friends asked me what Gelato Mama would do if she was stuck at jury duty in Compton while very preggers and Husband was away wine tasting in Santa Ynez.  First of all, Gelato Mama would be THRILLED at a chance to do jury duty!  See, that’s the thing about NEVER HAVING PERSONAL TIME.  Jury duty, gyno appointments, root canals...all these things that seemed so...inconvenient before are sadly now the only time you might sit in peace and thumb through a back issue of People magazine.  So what if you are in fear of your life, have a cold metal tool shoved up your whoo-ha or a drill is about to be inserted in your tooth...you are ALONE.  Enjoy it.  Get a latte on the way home.
As for Husband away drinking wine, well, fuck him.  Get your guilt trip going, make sure he comes home with plenty of baby celebration wine (you can soooo drink and breastfeed...it’s all about the TIMING!), and maybe just kind of ignore him for a while.  My husband LOVES that.  And for at least the next few weeks when he starts to perhaps... annoy you..., all you have to do is say SANTA YNEZ.  COMPTON. This will be a quick reminder of how selfless and superior you are and he should just stop talking and take the garbage out.  All I have to say is LAKER GAME and my husband is taken back to that painful night all those years ago and hangs his head in shame.  (More accurately, he hangs his head over his ipad where he continues to look at Bruin stats, but you get the idea.)  
Lastly, I know it’s difficult to be pregnant, especially so close to the end.  I know how exciting it is to think about finally meeting your baby and being a mom and how you just want it all to be over.  But let’s remember one thing-that baby is never going to be easier to take care of than right now, safe and snug in your belly, while your butt is hurting on a hard, uncomfortable bench.  Buckle up.  A baby changes everything.

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