What did those kids do to that nice lady?

Monday, August 29, 2011


The other day, my four year old way resting his head on my stomach and he looked up at me and said, You know why Mama’s have the best tummies?  Because they’re squishy.  He then poked at my stomach to prove it’s squishiness and said, See?  It’s squishy! Oh, gee, thanks, bud.  I wipe your ass and you get to tell me I’m fat?  AS IF I DIDN’T KNOW THIS.  As if I didn’t know that yes, my stomach is still squishy even after losing 35 pounds of baby chub.  As if I didn’t know that yes,  my stomach is still squishy after fitting in the size six’s again.  (Which, as if I didn’t know, is still kinda fat in LA LA land.)  But instead of crying and reaching in the freezer for a handful of emergency chocolate chips, I burst out laughing.  Shall I also point out to him the stretch marks that will apparently NEVER GO AWAY?    Which, for reals.  We can’t find a way to rid our bodies of stretch marks?  This is what I get for creating life?  Unsightly lines on my stomach that laugh at me when I try on bathing suits and a roll of belly fat that mocks my workouts?  But I will not make him suffer this day with a guilt trip of LOOK WHAT YOU AND YOUR SISTER DID TO MY BODY!  I have years and years of guilt trips ahead of me.  (Hi Mom!)  Instead, I will simply laugh and let him poke.  Because you know what?  This scarred, squishy stomach was totally worth it.  (But if you know how to get rid of those stretch marks, don’t hold out on a sister.)

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